i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He better not be in your backpack
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
