Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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