just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
