if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
