look no pants
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I want to be your penis for a week.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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