Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize