she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I need water and some morals
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
