Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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