I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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