hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think I won the penis lottery.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
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