We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
