I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
