Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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