The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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