it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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