party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
just tell him i said nine months
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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