Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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