We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
