I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
