one might say we're banned from that church
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
