hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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