I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
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so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
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You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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