Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
