he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
