he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
