I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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