She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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