I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
