Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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