You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
