I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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