Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle