Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been