do you believe in love at first sight?
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?