i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
