i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
