you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
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Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
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when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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