You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
