real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
