Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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