Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
