She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
