Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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