i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
