Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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