And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
