i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i drank out of a bidet.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
