i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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