we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
