they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
