Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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