he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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