I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Duck Duck Cougar?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
