You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Please don't give away my fajitas
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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