I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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