It's like God shit irony all over that family
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize