Apparently you make a good broom.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize