It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize