I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.