atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
