I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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