The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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