She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
