Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
