I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
