Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Still dying that you shit outside
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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