I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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