She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
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Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
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I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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